Irish Jokes

[Old_but_Alive]

*         Due to a water shortage in Ireland, Dublin swimming baths have
announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8...
 
*         Paddy got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking him for his
interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency....
 
*         Paddy thought his new girlfriend might be the one but after
looking through her knickers drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French
maids outfit, and a police woman's uniform, he finally decided if she can't
hold down a job, she's not for him.
 
*         Murphy is doing some roofing work for Paddy. He nears the top of
the ladder and starts shaking and going dizzy. He calls down to Paddy and
says "I tink I will ave to go home, I've come all over giddy and feel sick."
Paddy asks "Ave yer got vertigo?" Murphy replies "No I only live round the
corner."
 
   * After 100 years lying on the sea bed, Irish divers were amazed to find
that the Titanic's swimming pool was still full

[FriskyFerretReloaded2]

Those jokes suck since they involve no Irish stereotypes. Lets have some German jokes.

[darky]

http://dhansufunny.blogspot.in/2014/03/bad-news-deep-within-forest-little.html

Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree.
After hours of effort, he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground.
After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts.

Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."

http://dhansufunny.blogspot.in/2014/03/bad-news-deep-within-forest-little.html